In the magazine business, the back cover is where you’d find all the weird nonsense that we couldn’t fit anywhere else. Some may call it “padding”; we prefer “an entire page to make terrible jokes that are tangentially related to the content of the magazine.”
We don’t have web pages, but we still love awful jokes, so welcome to our semi-regular feature, Back Page.
It’s that time of year again folks! The Made-Up Games Show (MUGS) is back and boy, are there a ton of life sims coming to Switch over the next year!
Now when we were young, a yes it was a slightly strange avatar who spoke in a strange language (Simlish) as they spent the day burning dinners, taking fuzzy showers, and accidentally setting babies on fire. So when we heard about the latest line of life simulators, you can understand our confusion when there was much less’sul sul‘ and much more talk about pressure washers, goats and gas stations.
We can’t quite figure it out, but maybe you good readers will have fun discovering all the so-called ‘life simulation’ games coming to Switch soon. Here’s the latest from MUGS:
toast butter simulator
Featuring four types of bread and enhanced realism with Switch’s HD rumble (which you can feel as it spreads over crumbly crusts), toast butter simulator is ready to bring the Wheat Road to portable gaming. After an impressive launch on Steam, this Switch port adds difficulty levels so you can get to grips with innovative motion controls on a sturdy sourdough starter before tackling an easy-to-break supermarket own-brand range.
Here’s the official word from the developers’ PR:
“Put your ovens on the grill because things are about to get buttery! The cafe is full of toast orders and none of the buns are ready! Take on the challenge to butter all the toast before the customers arrive!” Don’t forget, when the tension rises, the toast grows cold!”
watch winding simulator
Time is of the essence in this great show that winds the clock! The official ad tried to sell this as a time travel game what we assume it is technically right, but moving back and forth over the space of minutes didn’t really seem to fit in with the crowd.
It looks like the game is in desperate need of a patch to enable Joy-Con motion controls, as it currently seems very heavy on analog sticks. However, pre-order bonuses include a fancy clock winding key pin badge and a time conversion table that are sure to appeal to fans of the studio’s previous title, watch cleaning simulator.
Disclaimer: The key cannot be used on pre-purchased watches and is for cosmetic purposes only.
“Take a break from playing Sims to play playing sims!’ Hey, they may need to work on their tagline, but Fake EA-Type Company (FEAT Co.) seems to be really onto something with this game where you control an avatar that Sims are playing.
Billed as Sims-meets-Sims, this simple simulator will see you stream Sims while simulating life on a sleepy Sunday. With options for first and third person Sims simulation, you now have more viewing options than ever before while controlling your avatar to play the hit life sim.
Check out the following list of FEAT Co. game features:
– Create your ultimate gaming setup: With over 8 customizable desktops and screens, your vision of The Sims will feel more real than ever!
– Ignore your avatar’s real-world problems: Overdue bills and stained coffee cups will pile up on your desk the more you play Sims Sims. Take a break to do the dishes and see your family, or keep pushing your avatar to its disgusting limits!
– Calendar settings: Choose to see how long you’ve been neglecting your mundane duties or turn off the day counter if you want to play Sims in peace.
Fountain pen refill simulator
Kind of like a spiritual sequel to pencil sharpener simulator, fountain pen refill is a return to the classics of the life simulator genre, reimagined in glorious HD thanks to the developer’s work on Unreal Engine 5.
A twist on standard pen refill simulators like biro explosion Y Don’t stain the Sharpie!, Fountain Pen Refill ups the stakes with the Switch’s gyroscopic controls that directly influence the level of ink spillage. Will you choose black, blue or red in this calligraphy challenge?
The studio has also announced that a DLC pack will be available within the first six months of the title’s release, containing the following:
- Paper Variety Improvements
- Wipe up spilled ink with touch screen controls
- Added character hand options
- And much more!
Bathroom cleaning simulator
They gave out scratch and sniff cards at the press event for this one. A fun trick, yes, but couldn’t it have been bread baking simulator instead?
This simulator will allow you to use two Joy-Cons while you whiten, scrub and clean some of the dirtiest toilets in the world. If it sounds disgusting, that’s because it is.
Game modes include ‘Plunger Time Trial’, ‘Tough Scrub Co-op’ and ‘Suspicious Stain Mystery Round’. Look, we are not going to judge, it sounds very interesting. And if you’re the kind of person who likes the sound of this, then we’ve got another Sim for you!
Bathroom cleaning: Double flush!
That’s right, with an IP as hot as Toilet Cleaning Simulator’s, the studio has already confirmed the game’s sequel, double flush!
This appears to be very similar to its predecessor and could work better as a standard DLC, although the added ‘Find The Blockage’ minigame promises fun for the whole family. Exactly what that means we’ll have to find out, but our imaginations are running wild with this one.
DISHWASHER – Loading
We’re not quite sure what they were going for with the title here (hey, it’s like we made it up!), but the futuristic feel of the all-caps and hyphenation certainly has us interested.
Like Surgeon Simulator but with a dishwasher as its victim, you’ll need to be careful how much (and what) you load this machine with. It’s all a balancing act as you try to manage and maintain your dishwasher to make sure you always have perfectly spotless dishes.
Here is the official Developer’s summary of the game Machine wash only:
Take the pleasure of loading a dishwasher to the next level in DISHWASHER – Loading! Get the most out of your tablets by stacking plates, bowls, pans and cutlery the right way for perfect cleanliness. But be careful, overloading the dishwasher will cause leftover cereal to seep into the spoons! It’s like a real wash, but without the joy of food!
nose picking simulator
Only at one event during which we saw two promos for the Toilet Cleaning Simulator could this feel like a slight relief. Think of WarioWare’s Gold Digger minigame and you’re just getting started.
Perhaps the most luck-based sim announced during the show, nose picking simulator You’ll use the Switch’s touchscreen capabilities as you clear your avatar’s nostrils of all unwanted inhabitants.
While the game is still in its beta phase, the studio was able to provide us with the following list of features:
– Look for gold: Dive in and check out Switch’s first nasal simulator!
– Pick it up, spin it, move it: The game does not end once you have chosen a winner. Scan the room with the motion controls and choose the best place to move! Behind the sofa? In the sink? In the cat? The choice is yours!
– Nose accessories: Choose from a variety of piercings, tattoos, and hair lengths to make this nose simulator as realistic as possible!
with all these very real Titles definitely coming to Switch, we can’t help but wonder if there are any we’ve missed. let us know more absolutely confirmed, 100% realsims life in the comments below!