Random: Mario nips return for summer 2022

Image: Nintendo

Mario’s nipples are, surprisingly, a subject of much debate. Every year, Nintendo has released a cute summer rendering of our plumber boy on the beach, and this year is no different. But when Mario is at the beach, and not at work, he changes out of his overalls for a bathing suit, and that means this is the only time we see him topless.

In 2020, Nintendo decided (for whatever reason) to excise poor Mario’s bites, presumably out of some Nintendo-esque need to PROTECT CHILDREN from the horrors of thinking Mario is a mammal. The internet, not to be outdone, decided this was weirder than just letting Mario have nipples in the first place, so in 2021, Nintendo put them back where they belong.

We know that throughout the summer of this year, you’ve probably been wondering whether or not Mario has a nipple this year. It is a bit like waiting to see the color of smoke that announces if there is a new Pope. So we’re happy to tell everyone that Mario still has his firm tweaks for 2022:

However, the tweet contains a typo (“you” instead of “your”), so it could be removed. Here I leave the image, so that you can always appreciate our favorite breast-bearing plumber:

A summer photo of Mario surfing (with nipples)
There they are. They are tiny, but they are there. Image: Nintendo

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